this life
08.16.09 (8:31 pm) [edit]love is a lonly ass road to walk down especially when everything you ever wanted you finally have and now you cant keep it. i dont think i can take anymore pain and tears in life. its like no matter what i can do we will never have our peace again.im pretty sure you understand that i love you and the pain i have hen i cant see you. if you ever find somebody that makes you happy i hope you get to keep her because once i made up my mind not to love you and that was the end.anyways i guess what im trying to say is i will always love you and its just really hard letting you go but if thats you want then ok you have it.with all the love i use to have for you yours truly lostlove :)
this is me
02.02.09 (4:06 pm) [edit]people say that you should look on the inside then on the outside because beauty is skin deep. well i say im already beautiful and i wish people could see past that. when i walk down the hall i dont want everybody looking at m because of my fashion. anyways im sorry i just want to be happy.this is me the good the bad the tornapart kinda girl i am
saying goodbye
01.31.09 (11:45 pm) [edit]its not forever its just saying goodbye to the gurl that i once wanted to marry and hello to a good friend. today you guys i was able to stand next to her tell her what to do and not want to be in love with her. yes i cried alittle bit tonight but that was just the thought that we are really over and i am really over the fact. um to the past things its all over and every little thing will be alright
MOMMA SAID THERE BE DAYS LIKE THIS
01.31.09 (12:25 am) [edit]NOW THAT I LOOK BACK MY MOM DID TELL ME THAT ONE DAY IM GOING TO GIVE ALL MY LOVE TO ONE PERSON, AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS IT WILL BE THE ONE I CANT LET GO. WHEN IT ALL STARTED BETWEEN US I KNEW FROM THE BEGINING THAT I HAD A SPECIAL GURL. IVE TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO HER HOW ITS POSSIBLE THAT I LOVE HER BECAUSE I DONT SEE WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE SEES I SEE THE PERSON DEEP THAT CARES ABOUT EVERYTHING AND IS SO EMOTIONAL. I JUST WISHED THAT I DIDNT START SOMETHING I KNEW WOULD HAVE AND ENDING THAT I DIDNT WANT. I HAVE CRIED TO THE POINT WHERE I HAVE NO MORE TEARS WHERE THE FEELINGS ARE NUMB EVERYTHING ABOUT I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I REFUSE TO LET YOU GO THERES NO WAY I EVER REALLY COULD. TODAY HOWEVER I AM AT PEACE WITH YOU AND I DONT CARE ABOUT GETTING BACK WITH YOU ANYMORE JUST THE FACT THAT YOURE AROUND ME STILL IS GOOD ENOUGH. THIS IS ME THE GOOD THE BAD THE TORNAPART KINDA GIRL I AM.
tornApart love
01.29.09 (2:06 am) [edit]hello have you ever thought that you were going forward just to find out that your three years older and two steps behind? thats where i am right now. so when i asked my ex to marry me i thought she was ready. when i told her we should move in she said she was ready. i told her i wanted her to have everything in this world you know what she said? im sorry somebody else has my heart. wtf is she thinking? so yeah then she left me and its hard all i can tell her is every rose has its thorn and i ever wanted was to love her since day one. now its just so hard looking and talking to her i start crying everytime i hear music. im a wreck i dont know what to do. my friends tell me i should have left along time ago but i just couldnt lov will make a person do things they never thought they would. anyways i love her and want her back but ive messed up so bad. i started crying and i told her the truth and you know what she said? "i just dont feel the same way" its wierd cuz you did before this person came back into your life, kinda funny dont you think. well if this were a suicide note i would say yo udid this to me fuck off you cum guzziling whore or thats what she would say. to her i hope you realize before its to late and to the other your lucky you got everything i deserve. to me give up cheer up and move on kiddo wipe those tears everything will be ok she will see that your love was genuine and you would do anything to help her. this is me the good the bad the tornApart kinda girl i will always be.....
Real World
10.21.07 (6:25 pm) [edit]so ive been out of high school fpr a couple of months and it feels as if i havent been there since i forever. I think that Im a new person but I really dont know cuz Im a lost soul. what people call night mares Ive LIVED and thats just the real world except that you will alwaays be different from people and if they dont just notice that they will never the true you. so thats what ive been thinking about for awhile and it might not make since but to me its all the sense that i have.
I Love You
06.01.07 (9:15 am) [edit]its a eight letter word and so is bullshit. i cant stand people that tell you that tthey love you and you find out that they dont. anyways i freaking dont care anymore i just want to live me life free. il ove the word love and nothing more my life is endless and boring. suicide is love
WTF
05.22.07 (10:28 am) [edit]Life is full of assholes they treat you like crap take for instant my "friend" lentanterrible he acts as if im a child. my teahcer keeps calling me a hater and most of all i am in love with a chick and nobody believes me and it sucks. try moving into a new world and not being accepted. i ha te people that treat other poeple like crap, i hate people that think that they are better then me cuz they reallt aren't. i love my CASA friends and suicide is knocking at the door will i answer or will my friend. wtf i dont want to die neither do you so stop treating people like shit and then you can live longer.
Angry
05.10.07 (10:10 am) [edit]yesterday i was angre with ine if my friends, but i noticed that it was my fault so i decided to drop it. anyways i went out with my group last night and we got into some more trouble with the authorities. its a good thing we knew the cop and he let us of with a warning and we promised that he wouldnt see us again of course not until the next day. i am lost im my life, people keep tellig me that im emo but i dont think i am.
My_loVe
05.09.07 (10:04 am) [edit]My love for this life is nothing.
My love for this guy that i just met is everything
ok so you know when you just meet someone and you think to yourself that you like them well thats what i feel like right now. My new boyfriend Matt is so sweet when we talk hes so calm and mellow i feel as if i could melt in his arms. we went dirk bike riding last night and it was so fun i didnt want to go home. we sat under the stars and just talked about things to be. right when i got home he called me and said i just wanted to hear your voice for a second . do i love him? thats the same question i asked myself under the stars, but im not sure if i really do. i cant predict the future, i can only look forward to what is to come.